1. BACKSEAT. Cindy.
Cindy and I had a mutual friend, Todly, who for years wanted us to meet. But we both...Let us say...didn't "mesh" with all of his other friends so said no to meeting each other. I was then invited to see, her brilliant son, Max Michael Miller (google him) in a play in Syracuse and decided I would go with them. Which is completely out of character. I don't travel 6 hours with strangers. I knew I could always take a train back need I have a fastescape. ha. Five minutes into the drive I knew Cindy would be my friend forever.
2. BESS AND ME. Anne.
This was the song that inspired the album to become what it is. Anne and I have loved each other most of my adult life. She is a Tennessee Williams heroine...take your pick of which one. My NYC life was defined by places we went and things we did. Then she decided to move back South. I can't cross a street in New York without thinking of her.
3. CLOSER THAN I CAN. Stephanie.
Stephanie and I knew each other since we were around 15. Went to the same church. Her Father died early and she always said I reminded her of him. Both of us struggled with depression. We also had a falling out. I lost stephanie to suicide before we were back to normal and my heart will never be the same. To not have her living will always haunt me.
4. ANYMORE. Judi
Judi and I were soulmates from our first meeting. We both went through huge break ups. Possibly the worst of our lives. She invited me to lick our wounds together in her Maryland home. We laughed. She healed me. But then I had to return to New York.
5.I DO. Deshja.
Deshja and I met at a birthday party at 12 years old when she face planted on a trampoline square into my lap. We have been best friends since. But nothing prepares you for the day the girl who was always yours gets married and isn't yours anymore...Unless she marries a man who you know loves her as much as you always have.
6.I REMEMBER BEING THERE. Vicki
Vicki (or beaker as I named her before I could speak) was my second Mother and has loved me, and I her, up to this day. She shared all of my childhood...and her toys. HA. We spent years in Illinois going to the fair and to her Mothers boutique.
7. I REMEMBER IT WELL. Heather.
Heather was one of the most beloved people in my life since 16 years old. We lived together at one point. We used to drive around with our best friend David and sing in the car most weekend evenings. She and I had a falling out and didn't speak for years. I couldn't leave her out of this album. But also couldn't pretend the situation was different than it was.
8. LINES. Diane.
Had a wonderful drama teacher who loved me and still does. She directed me in High School. But sometimes the hardest things to say are the most important and she loved me regardless. She did make me play Barnum when I wanted to do carousel...Im almost over that. Almost. Will treasure my time with her always.
9.LOVE ALWAYS, ME. Victoria
Back in the old days people wrote things called letters. I had gone off to college in NYC and left behind a dear friend I have to this day. Email was just beginning. I loved receiving and writing every letter in the mail to this wonderful girl. Both sharing the best and worst of our lives...on paper.
10. MY MOTHER. Patricia.
The title pretty much says it all. She remains all of the things I say in this song. No words can express...
11.SHE WON'T BELIEVE ME. Liz
We met in a restaurant, randomly, but she has changed my life. She will never know how brilliant she is. But one of my life goals is making her realize it. She co wrote this entire album with me. She inspires me daily.
12.SUICIDE PARK. Sara
My dear friend Sara was in NY during some of my most horrible turns of depression. She would come to my apt and wait for me to come out. We would go to the nearest park and I would weep...and she would listen. When things were better we jokingly renamed it suicide park. She saved me more than she knows.
13. BOY IN THE BLACK BOX. Andi.
Andi was one of my first loves and also introduced me to a love that would be the rest of my life. Her black box theater was my introduction to theater and I was hooked. Drug addict hooked to the stage...also to time with her. When my parents worked she would drive me to the acting and improv lessons she taught. I love her to this day. For all she was....and now all she is. She has a collection of hearts. Mine is certainly one of them.
14. THE POET'S DAUGHTER. Chris.
Her love of her poet father and her talent as a poet herself always moved me. He is so alive in her. And she has so supported and inspired me. I feel in some way I know him.
15. YEAR OF ZACK AND JOAN. My Joanie
Joanie and I met doing summer stock. I went through a hard time as she was as well. We lived together and laughed and cried...and dieted...together for a year. But literally a year later. She was in loved and getting married. It should have been a horrible time for us both...but it was one of the best times of my life.
16. THIS ONE'S FOR YOU. Judith. aka Hoodie aka Gwammy aka Both baby chicken emojis on iPhone...aka my angel. ( or as I like to put it " My sparkly vodka soaked angel from heaven')
Hoodie is the reason I made this album. She literally made me. Her faith made me have faith. And we forged it together. This would not exist without her love, faith and belief in me...and us.
17. UNDER THE LIGHTS. Dylis.
Dylis and I met at 15. At a theater camp. She was THE dancer. And I was considered THE singer. We both were too obsessed with ourselves to care about the other one. Then we did a number together and fell in love for the rest of our lives. This was the feeling I had watching her star on Broadway.
18. WHO YOUR MOTHER IS. Karie.
Karie is a legend. She was one of the first female anchors in a male dominated television network. She also called out sexual harassment and lost everything. She also was a beauty queen ambassador that traveled the world. Yet when I met her, her kids simply saw MOM. And I saw so much more.
19. WITHOUT YOU. The Mama. Pattricia
I suffered greatly with depression and mental health in my twenties. Before I got help I considered suicide as an option...however I could not do that to my Mother. But at the time it also begged this question...
20. FLYING. Helen.
My First and possibly most important voice teacher. She saw my passion and saw herself in it. She treated me as an adult and I rose to the occasion. But then one day the baby bird must leave the nest...My years with her teaching me are amongst the happiest I can remember.